The first heart break...

It was a matriculation school. Muslim school, with majority of students are hindus from around the villages. I was studying 6th std and she was in 4th std.

I was the typical 6th std kid, going to school just because the school van comes in the morning, never bothered about studying. Playing happily till sun set, throwing the school bag in the evening and never opening it until the school van comes next day.

All was going well in school, until a day came... The annual day was announced. The class teacher asked me, "Dei chandragiri, we are doing a drama this year, do you want to act in that". "Yes sir.. I will act".

The next day, he took me to a separate room. A girl was standing there. Little short, not very fair, not black either; two more teachers were also there.

Chandragiri, this is the script. You are a villager, she is your wife, one day you fight with your wife, and that day night, when you sleep, you go to yemalogam in your dreams, meet yemadharma,etc, etc.. Suddenly when your wife wakes you up, you are surprised and happy that you are still alive.

And then he explained the dialogues, gave me the script, and asked me to mug it up. And he asked us practice once. There were many a times, she should call me "enanga, ennanga". I don't know what she felt about it, i was very very shy.

That day evening i told this to my mother. You know, I’m acting in a drama this year. I have a wife in that, and she is calling me as so and so. "Ha ha...” She too laughed. She asked me, "How does she look like". "Ammaaaa...!!!", I shouted and went away.

In the next few days, we had many rehearsal sessions. I mugged up every line of mine. Every time she called "ennaga", I felt shy to even to look at her face.

The big annual day came. I didn't really have a stage fear. I gave good performance. Especially the scene in which my wife wakes me up, I was shocked & surprised that I am still alive, looking around the stage. People laughed and clapped for that scene. It was a good experience. I was very happy when people said I acted well.

The forth coming days were very different for me. During intervals, lunch times I used go near her class to see if she has come today. Every time friends talk anything about her, I would listen keenly and happily. I used to have many dreams about her, I used to have dreams of me and her dancing for tamil songs.

In the evening times, school vehicles would go for two trips. Both of us had to go in the second trip in different vans. Many of the guys used to play in the ground till the vans come back. She used to play mainly with small kids. Sometimes my friends used play with them, I never used join when she is there. When I was there, she wouldn't join either. She used call my friends "Anna" for asking something. But she never talked to me. Once in a while she will see me, I will see her, and she will continue playing. I'm sure she wouldn't have called me Anna, even if she had talked to me.

The next one year passed like this. I used think I should go and talk to her. I never got the courage to go near her.

The heart breaking next annual day came. This time they chose one of my class mate to play the lead role. She was again picked, to play along with him. I was shocked to hear this. I couldn’t take it easily. They were not even pairs in the skid; still I couldn't take it normally. I was heartbroken. I didn’t want anything more than her. I was very badly hoping that somehow they would remove that guy, and put me in the main role. It didn’t happen. In fact, I was also given a small role in the drama, with one scene and 4-5 lines of dialogue.

On the function day, I got into to the stage, and I just forgot my dialogues; I couldn’t remember a single line of mine. I didn't know what to talk. The person, who gave thumping performance last year, struggled to speak even 4-5 lines of dialogue. I stood there in front of the mike without remembering my dialogue, I struggled even to blabber. I don't remember what I talked, I got down.

In next few days, I didn't see her much. Then we had the final exam and holidays after that. In the next year, I came to know that she has moved to some other school. In the two years I happened to see her in that school, apart from the rehearsal sessions and stage performance, I have not spoken a single word to her. But I know many a times we had communicated through eyes.

I don't know where she is now. After all these years I still remember those school days because of her. I am sure she is there somewhere, and she will remember me if I meet her again :)